Illustrative example — invented, not customer data
A disagreement at work, and what each of them can see
Two colleagues, one sentence said in a meeting, and a conversation that has to happen without either of them being able to say the whole truth out loud.
Sam
Wrote first, without seeing the other account
Used in the conversations you have together, and in shared summaries and exports.
In the review on Tuesday the launch delay was described as a resourcing problem on my side. I’d like us to agree how we describe it to the wider team, because that version has now been repeated twice.
Only you. Your own guide can use it to help you. You can choose to share it later, one item at a time.
What I actually feel is that I was left holding something that was decided above me and then named after me. I don’t want to say “you threw me under a bus” because I have to work with this person every day.
Never shown, quoted, summarised, counted in a total, hinted at, or exported to them, and no notification is sent when you write it. Your own guide can still use it to understand you.
I’ve been looking at other jobs since March. I want help working out what to say without that being the reason I’m saying it, and I don’t want it anywhere near a shared space.
Remi
Wrote independently, opened at the same moment
Used in the conversations you have together, and in shared summaries and exports.
I said resourcing because that’s the word that came out under a direct question, and I didn’t correct it afterwards. That was mine, and I can correct it in Thursday’s note.
Only you. Your own guide can use it to help you. You can choose to share it later, one item at a time.
I was protecting a decision I disagreed with and couldn’t say I disagreed with. That is not Sam’s problem to carry, and I’ve been avoiding thinking about it in those terms.
Never shown, quoted, summarised, counted in a total, hinted at, or exported to them, and no notification is sent when you write it. Your own guide can still use it to understand you.
I don’t know how much of this I’m allowed to explain without repeating something from a closed meeting. I need help finding the line rather than a script.
What the structure does here
Neither of them saw the other’s account before writing their own. Remi’s admission — that the word came out under pressure and was not corrected — is the kind of thing people do not write after reading a complaint about it.
The never shared level is doing the work that makes this usable at all. Sam is job-hunting; Remi is bound by a meeting they cannot quote. Both need help that takes those facts into account, and neither can put them in a shared space. OnBetterTerms uses that material to guide each of them and never quotes, summarises, counts or hints at it — not in a joint session, not anywhere.
What comes out at the end is the part they both agreed: how the delay gets described on Thursday. Not who was right.
What this is not
Not an HR process, not legal advice, and not a substitute for either. If something at work is unlawful — discrimination, harassment, retaliation — that is a matter for your employer’s formal process or a solicitor, and a workspace for having a conversation is not the tool for it.
Conversations at work A family example Setting a boundary
Illustrative example — invented names and invented content, not customer data. We do not publish anything a member has written. How the privacy levels work.