Fictional example — not customer data

Two people, one afternoon, and what each of them can see

Jun and Priya share custody of a seven-year-old. On Tuesday one of them was not at the school gate. Below is the whole of what they each wrote, and — the part no user of OnBetterTerms ever sees — both sides at once.

The names, the words and the argument are invented for this page. Nothing here is anybody’s real evening.

Step one

They write separately, before either reads the other.

Neither of these was written with the other’s version on screen. That is the whole design: the moment you read their account, your own quietly reorganises itself around it.

Jun writes

Three pieces, at three different levels.

SharedShared — the other person can see this

I got to the school at 3:15 and you weren’t there. I waited twenty minutes and then took her home myself. I’d like us to agree what happens when one of us is running late.

PrivatePrivate — only you can see this

What actually got to me was standing in the playground while the other parents left. I felt like the one who always ends up covering, and I didn’t want to say that in front of her.

Never sharedNever shared — the other person cannot see this and cannot tell it exists

I’ve started keeping a list of the times this has happened. I don’t know whether that’s me being careful or me building a case, and I don’t want anyone to know I’m doing it.

Priya writes

Two pieces. She has not seen a word of Jun’s.

SharedShared — the other person can see this

My 2:30 ran over and I couldn’t leave. I messaged you at 3:05 — I know that was too late to be useful. I should have said something as soon as I saw the meeting was going to overrun.

PrivatePrivate — only you can see this

I’ve been trying to get the hours changed for a month and it hasn’t worked, and I haven’t told them yet because I don’t want it to sound like an excuse.

Step two

What each of them can actually read.

Priya sees

Jun’s shared account of Tuesday
Her own three pieces, all of them

And nothing else that Jun wrote.

Jun sees

Priya’s shared account
Their own three pieces, all of them

Not Priya’s private note about the hours she has been trying to change.

Neither of them sees

The other’s private writing
The other’s never shared writing
That there is anything at the strongest level — no count, no gap, no hint

SharedThey can see it.

Used in the conversations you have together, and in shared summaries and exports.

PrivateThey cannot see it.

Only you. Your own guide can use it to help you. You can choose to share it later, one item at a time.

Never sharedThey cannot see it, and cannot tell it exists.

Never shown, quoted, summarised, counted in a total, hinted at, or exported to them, and no notification is sent when you write it. Your own guide can still use it to understand you.

Jun’s list of previous times is at the strongest level. Priya cannot read it, and cannot tell it exists — it is excluded from shared summaries before they are built, not filtered out afterwards. Jun’s own guide can still use it to understand why this particular Tuesday landed the way it did.

Step three

What they get, built from the shared halves only.

Both accounts are in, so both appear at once. What follows is assembled from the two shared pieces above and nothing else.

Where they already agree

The message at 3:05 was too late to be useful.
Neither of them thinks the other did it deliberately.
They both want a rule for the next time, not an apology for this one.

What is actually unresolved

How much notice counts as notice.
Who is called first when neither of them can go.
Whether a recurring work conflict needs its own arrangement.

Suggested next conversation

“Twenty minutes’ notice, and a name we both call if neither of us can be there.”

One question, agreed in advance, with the rest written down and parked rather than dropped. No score, no fault, and no view in which one of them was right.

Notice what is not here. Nobody is told whose fault Tuesday was. Priya’s private note about her hours shaped what her own guide suggested to her and never entered this page. Jun’s list is not referred to, counted, or alluded to. How that boundary is enforced.

Your own version of Tuesday

Start on your own. Inviting the other person is a separate decision, and nothing you have already written becomes visible because they joined.

Start with your perspective See how it works

Fictional example — invented names and invented content, not customer data.