Questions
The things worth asking before you type anything in.
If an answer here does not match what you see on screen, the screen is right and this page is wrong. Tell us at support@onbetterterms.com.
What it is
Is this therapy?
No, and it is not a substitute for it. It is a communication and conflict-resolution tool. There is no clinician involved, nothing here is treatment, and it makes no claim to be effective in the way a therapy does. If you are working with a therapist, this sits alongside that.
Is it only for couples?
No. A space holds one relationship, whoever that is with — a partner, a sibling, a co-parent, a friend, a roommate, a business partner. More than two people can share one space for the things that involve everybody, and no plan limits how many people can be in one or what any of them can do. (A paid plan does say how many people its larger AI allowance covers — that is an allowance, not a door.)
Can we use it for work?
Yes, for the ordinary human parts: a disagreement with a colleague, an expectation nobody actually agreed to, a conversation that keeps being postponed. It is not an HR system and nothing is reported to an employer.
Does the AI take sides?
It is not built to. In a joint session it summarises each position, names the points you already agree on, and separates a disputed fact from something the two of you simply saw differently. It does not score, tally or declare an outcome — and where it thinks something is a bad idea it says so to you, not about you to the other person.
Using it alone
Can I use it on my own?
Yes, and plenty of it is built for exactly that. A space works with one person in it: check-ins, your own guide, patterns over time, preparing for a conversation you are dreading. Inviting anyone is optional and reversible.
What if they will not use it?
Then use the half that never needed them. A good deal of what people get from this is working out what they actually want to say before saying it, and that does not require the other person to agree to anything.
Can I use it alongside a therapist or counsellor?
Yes. You can export everything you have here at any time and take it to them — it is your data, in a readable file, on request rather than on a schedule. Nothing is ever sent to anyone automatically.
Using it together
Does the other person need an account?
Only if you want them in the space. Preparing for a conversation, thinking something through, check-ins and patterns all work with nobody else involved. If you do invite someone, they need an account to accept — there is no way to read or write in a space without one.
What are Independent Perspectives?
Each of you writes your account of what happened before either of you reads the other’s. Then both appear at once. It exists because the usual failure of a shared thread is that the second person answers the first person’s framing rather than describing what they actually experienced.
What happens when we disagree about what happened?
Nothing adjudicates. A joint session slows the exchange down, asks each of you for the thing underneath, and checks that any agreement is worded the same way for both of you before it is recorded. Where you disagree, it stays recorded as a disagreement rather than resolved by the software.
Do both people get the same advice?
No, and that is deliberate. Each person’s guide knows their own history and preferences, so the same situation can produce differently framed guidance for each of you. Neither guide reveals the other’s material or the fact that there is any.
Can I remove someone else from a space?
Not today. You can disconnect, which ends your side of it, and you can revoke anything you shared. Being able to eject another person from a shared history is a heavier action than it sounds, and it is not built yet rather than half-built.
Privacy
Can the other person see my private notes?
No. Private material is yours. It is filtered in the database query rather than hidden in the interface, so there is no screen, export or total in which it appears to them.
What does “never shared” actually mean?
That the other person cannot see it and cannot tell it exists. It is never quoted, summarised, counted in a shared figure, or hinted at, and no notification is sent when you write it. Shared figures exclude it before they are calculated rather than filtering it out afterwards, because a total that changed would itself be a disclosure. The full model is on the privacy page.
Why is it not called “100% private”?
Because two things limit it, and neither of them is the other person: a small number of serious safety cases can reach a reviewer on our team, and a valid legal order can compel any company to produce what it holds. A phrase with “100%” in it cannot survive either. What is unconditional is the promise the level is named for, so that is what it is called.
If my private notes shape the advice, does that leak them?
No. Your guide can use private material to decide what to suggest to you, and it does not repeat it, attribute it, or tell the other person there was something to know. Sessions you do together are assembled by a separate code path that never loads private rows at all.
Can I share something later that I wrote privately?
Yes, one item at a time, after seeing the exact wording of what sharing means. There is deliberately no way to share everything at once. Stopping sharing hides it from then on and does not pretend to undo their having read it.
Does staff read my conversations?
Content is encrypted with a key belonging to you and is not browsable by staff. The exception is the safety queue: where a classifier flags a risk of harm at or above a configured severity, an excerpt can reach a reviewer holding a restricted role, and that access is audited. What happens at each level, and what a reviewer can and cannot see, is on the safety page.
AI
Is my data used to train AI models?
No. Your content is used to answer you and nothing else, and it is not used to train any model. What shapes future guidance is your own ratings and outcomes, held to your account — the model itself is unchanged by anything you write.
Does rating an answer change future responses?
Yes. Ratings move a style preference — length, bluntness, whether you want options or reflection — and the next prompt carries a different instruction as a result. You can see what it has inferred and set it by hand.
How does it know whether advice actually worked?
It asks. After something has played out you answer a few short questions privately: whether it feels resolved, whether you felt heard, what you want to remember. Those answers feed your own future guidance, which is a different signal from a rating — an answer can be appreciated and still not have helped.
Does it remember our conversations?
No. A conversation with your guide lives only while it is open — it ends when you end it, after thirty minutes of silence, or after eight hours, whichever comes first — and nothing is written down along the way. Nothing is extracted from it either, so there is no list of things it decided about you, because there is nothing to list. What carries between sessions is what you have written yourself, how you like to be spoken to, and how things actually went.
Can it be wrong?
Yes, and it is not supervised in real time. Language models produce confident, plausible, incorrect statements. Guidance here is a prompt for your own thinking, not a conclusion to act on without judgement — the AI disclosure is the longer version.
Pricing and credits
Are features different between plans?
No. Plans change the amount of included AI usage, not which product features you can access. Everything — your private guide, shared spaces, Independent Perspectives, mediation, voice, imports, patterns, exports, every safety feature — is on the free plan.
What do I actually pay?
Nothing, unless you want a bigger allowance. The free plan includes $2.00 of AI credit a month — about 210 typical replies and 30 minutes of voice transcription — and needs no card. Plus and Together exist for people who run out, and buy a larger allowance rather than extra features. The pricing page has the numbers.
Why does AI usage cost money?
Because every reply is a request to a model provider that bills us by the amount of text going in and coming back, and every voice note is a transcription billed by the second. A typical exchange with your guide costs about 0.97¢. Those are real invoices that scale with use, and a product that pretends otherwise either collapses or starts making its money somewhere you would like less.
What happens when my AI allowance runs out?
The parts that call a model pause until the month resets, and the app says so with the date. Nothing is charged, nothing accrues, and everything that does not need a model — writing, check-ins, your history, sharing, export, deleting your account — keeps working.
Can I see my usage?
Yes. The billing page in the app shows what is left as an amount and as roughly how many more replies it covers, with the date it resets, and it updates as you use it. There are no overage charges to be surprised by — the allowance is a stop, not a meter that keeps running.
What if there are more than two of us in a space?
Everyone can still be in it, and everyone keeps every feature. What a shared plan buys is a larger AI allowance for the number of people it says it covers, oldest members of the space first; anybody beyond that stays on the free allowance until they choose a plan of their own. We will not sell a shared plan for a space it is too small for — the app says so rather than taking the money.
Are safety checks charged to my allowance?
Never. Safety classification is paid for by us in every case, on every plan. You should never have a financial reason to avoid one, and metering it would create pressure to check less often.
Safety
Is this an emergency service?
No. We cannot dispatch help, do not contact emergency services, and do not monitor accounts in real time. If someone is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency number. What we do instead is on the safety page, limits first.
What happens if the relationship itself is the danger?
The app stops giving couples-communication advice, because compromise and patience are actively dangerous when one person is being controlled or hurt. It does not frame violence as two-sided, does not suggest confronting someone when that may be unsafe, and — this is the important one — never notifies the other person that anything changed.
Will I get false alarms?
We treat them as a real harm rather than a cost of caution. Assessment is based on structure — stated intent, a specific plan, access to means, a timeframe — rather than keywords, and an uncertain assessment does not escalate. A product that overreacts teaches people to write less honestly, which is the outcome that actually gets people hurt.
Data and deletion
Can I take my data out?
Yes. One button produces a complete file of everything of yours — entries, check-ins, records you consented to keep — built on the spot and sent straight to you. It is never stored anywhere for later collection.
Can I delete my information?
Yes, all of it, including anything you imported. Deletion is asked for and then carried out after a short grace period you can cancel within — the pause is there because it is not reversible afterwards. A stub of the account remains so that the other person’s side of a shared history does not silently rewrite itself, and it holds no content and no address.
What happens to shared material if somebody leaves?
Disconnecting a space ends the sharing and destroys nothing. What each of you wrote stays with its author, what was shared stays visible to the people it was shared with at the time, and nothing new crosses over. Revoking a share stops future visibility — it cannot unsee something already read, and we do not pretend otherwise.
Can I import previous AI conversations?
Yes, from an export file. ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini (through Google Takeout, choosing JSON) and Grok all let you download your history, and those files can be read here, along with plain text and this product’s own export. Nothing connects to your accounts at those services and no credentials are asked for.
Where does imported material end up?
Private, or never shared if you choose that. There is no option to import into a shared space at all: a bulk write into a place another person reads is the single most damaging mis-click available, so the option does not exist rather than being discouraged. Imported material is also excluded from your trends — six years of conversations with another product is not six years of using this one.
Still deciding?
Nothing here asks for a card, nobody else has to know you signed up, and you can delete your account and everything in it whenever you like.